Kid Inside

Do I really miss being young Or do I just miss the feeling Of not having responsibility And always staring up at the ceiling Instead of worrying about personal demons But nowadays with the passing of the seasons I'm finding solace in constant dreaming Fantasizing about the idea of leaving And I remember sitting in the school bathroom Skipping lunch for another afternoon fix If I cut too deep I don't think I'd be missed Wearing another hoodie to cover up my wrist And I still remember from time to time That I'd write a lengthy goodbye note Wishing that I could find a rope To try and see if I could float I wish I didn't get in this place everyday Where everything in life seems so gray Where suicide seems like the only answer Where life seems to be a spiraling disaster I can't forget all the shit that I've done I can't forgive all the shit that I've done I need happiness, I'll sit here and beg With all these fucking scars up and down my leg I need, I need Relief, relief What happened to the kid inside The happiness, excitement and spirit has died What happened to the kid inside I said I wanted to grow up, I lied What happened to the kid inside The passion, motivation and spirit has died What happened to the kid inside I guess wasn't ready for the ride I woke up this morning Realized that my life was boring And if I died without any warning There wouldn't be very much mourning I'm hoping that hoping will fix things And I pray happiness is what it brings Cause one day I wanna be as happy as I pretend to be That's all I've ever really wanted to see I've forgotten how the sun looks and feels Laying in this bed skipping countless meals No motivation to do anything anymore But to open up the orange bottle in my drawer As a kid I was taught there's a heaven and a hell And whenever you die they'll hear the toll of the bell But I soon began to realize the hell is inside the mind And the heaven is eventual happiness to find I wish I didn't get in this place everyday Where everything in life seems so gray Where suicide seems like the only answer Where life seems to be a spiraling disaster I can't forget all the shit that I've done I can't forgive all the shit that I've done I need happiness, I'll sit here and beg With all these fucking scars up and down my leg I need, I need Relief, relief Relief, relief Relief, relief What happened to the kid inside The happiness, excitement and spirit has died What happened to the kid inside I said I wanted to grow up, I lied What happened to the kid inside The passion, motivation and spirit has died What happened to the kid inside Guess I wasn't ready for the ride