my existence

It's a waste of time Thinking bout' the things I should've said I don't want to get up from my bed I don't want to get up from my bed I cannot sleep, all these dark thoughts stuck in my head Clouding my vision, can't see in the distance People in the past, I can't say that I miss them I can't say that I miss them at all And if I'm being honest with you living really feels like a chore All these thoughts overflow, and I wish I didn't know them Pointless information said in pointless conversations I'm getting older and I don't feel like i'm going places Like I don't know, guess I expected something a little different So many nights injecting different feelings in my system People grateful waking up feeling happy like it's christmas While I wish I never did, and just question my existence Lost track of all the times I just question my existence Like I'll be 20 now, but I can't say that i'm living at all Remember I was young, I used to play guitar I used to sing and laugh, I felt I had a charm Making shitty songs, with my laptop, made so many disses I miss the old days but I tell myself not to reminisce Cause it reminds me of how everything went to shit Realized that I wasn't enough, gaining consciousness So when my parents seperated it really got me fucked up Friends stab me in the back, while I learnt to cut myself I don't want them to see I used to wear sleeves, 40 degrees and overheat I never liked the pain, I know i'm not a sadist I just want to feel, I used my body as a canvas And if I'm being honest with you living really feels like a chore All these thoughts overflow, and I wish I didn't know them Pointless information said in pointless conversations I'm getting older and I don't feel like i'm going places Like I'm getting older and I don't feel like i'm going places Like I'm getting older and I don't feel like i'm going places I just question my existence Lost track of all the times I just question my existence I'll be 20 now but I can't say that I'm living at all I just question my I just question my existence