Numb

I feel the waves pull my teeth apart As the water tries to weaken my bones And fill my veins with salt I cry out "Give me the strength I only have in my dreams Give me a new mouth I can't make this one speak Give me a mind that won't get trapped when it thinks" No one is listening So the water shuts my mouth again And takes hold of my bones Now the tide controls where I walk What I say And makes sure I'm alone The waves that beat against my tongue Tear out the words that I never learned how to say Currents caught in my bloodstream try to carry me away And by the time I turn around I cannot see a thing I'm lost at sea but I swim So I won't drown in the deep I'm crying out for answers no one seems to know But the questions all get lost inside my throat along the way Because screaming at the top of my lungs sounds so quiet underwater And my throat gets torn apart all the same This ocean that cools your skin Will be the death of you if you let it in When you can't trust the movement of your bones When you are the water flooding your own lungs Sometimes it spits me out to float at the surface I struggle to stay above water Spitting it out of my lungs Crying out "What happened? Why do I tell myself to just walk away? Why can't I say the words I want to say? Why do I think I can't learn from my mistakes? I fucked up" I'm crying out for answers no one seems to know But the questions all get lost inside my throat along the way Because screaming at the top of my lungs sounds so quiet underwater I'll never let this ocean rip me apart It will drain from my heart