ihatefeelingthisway

I opened my eyes Knowing, I could never see myself as who i am The distance, to what I aspire to be, only grows As im finding myself Mum im sorry For not texting back, again And you'd know that I struggle My apartment's a mess, again After work, I work, seem to be loving the stress My friends Seem to know I'm better So theres no need to check, right? I got some new friends I love But distance's holding me back A 60 minute drive seems trivial But I work till 7 p.m And I need time to make some music And the traffic is bad So make it 80 instead Feel like this is all just a test All the time in my room will it be enough? 10 years without moves so ill have to run Everything I do in my eyes seems so basic Hate my tone, my style and my cadence Soon, I'll be making progress will it be enough? Mum I'm sorry, I almost cried When that little succulent died You gave me when I moved Cuz other plants won't survive And I acted offended but I knew you were right Cuz sometimes I'm not comfortable living as a grown up A dozen creepy manniquinn lurking 'round the corner They want my money, want my time, want my life Telling me to man up makes me wanna throw up All the time in my room will it be enough? 10 years without moves so ill have to run Everything I do in my eyes seems so basic Hate my tone, my style and my cadence Soon, I'll be making progress will it be enough? I dont want despression get the best of me A best me stays a fucking fantasy Take the pressure and I put it in a melody For myself and everyone that relates to me And my health worries my partner But I struggle seeing doctors Breathing just gets harder Whole life feeling like a come-up I guess this is just karma for the people I've harmed And I'm not seeking for advise I'm quietly bleeding till I die and I hate feeling this way