me & me out of sync

It's fucking scary to be me I'm not sure if I'm lost or I'm losing my mind I hate codependency Narcissistic no remorse or a softie inside My power through the roof when the shadows align But in a bright room I'll throw a tantrum and cry I'll put my phone on mute I don't need you to try to bring me I'll do it myself Even though I learned to trust Everything I touch turns to dust Every single time Gave up trying to adjust Take what I love and f*ck it up Every single time Everyone can see me But I don't care what they think Sometimes I care what they think Me and me out of sync White noise on my Tv And I'm letting it ring Mesmerize me get me dreaming And I'll be cutting the link If I don't want help Would they call me helpless And if I hate myself Why am I not living shell less If I'm feeling great How do I end up feeling jealous If I'm in the right tell me Why I keep defending And if that's all so selfish Why do I keep pretending Pretending to be selfless Why can't I be myself It's scary It's fucking scary to be me I'm not sure if I'm lost Or I'm losing my mind I hate codependency Narcissistic, no remorse Or a softie inside