The sound of my soul

I can't bear the tearing of my soul I hear my inner self talking to me And asking me to do things I really don't want to do Sad Bleak Nostalgic I miss my childhood I was not aware of what life really is I want to go back when I was happy Nothing is enough Nothing matters Stoicism Sighs of smoke Bloody sweat Smell of neglect Dark room Black vomit I laugh in madness while I wait While I bleed Turn on the lights and