Stagnant

I haven't felt this way in a long time Not at war with myself And not with anyone else Is this what it is like to feel I want more I'm shaken to the core In my dreams Happy faces, cheerful smiles But their bliss is a lie Their smiles are fake Their eyes are blind They don't sympathize They don't sympathize My mountains are just the background of the picture now I don't feel the uncertainty Finally breathing I take a deep breath And hold it in, And hope to God this feeling never ends There has to be a catch Tranquility Always comes with a price We all pay up Not a matter of if But when I'm so sick of this shit I take a deep breath And hold it in And hope to God that this feeling never ends Do I bring this on myself Could this be the truth? Why not? All my plans are falling through I was naïve To think that the slate could be wiped clean Stagnant I'm tired of trying to change While everyone around me always stays the same Punished for my good intentions These stains can't be washed away Do I bring this on myself Could this be the truth? Why not? All my plans are falling through I had it all wrong My mountains are Just reflections in the ocean I have left to swim I am never getting out of here