Lately, Pt. 3

i do a show and disappear A room full of people i bleed like nobody is here Fucked up, love drunk, i aint been sober in a year Overdosing on these thoughts I'm getting closer to my fears They all cheer now They never wanted to listen I never wanted to fit in And so i got me a vision I've seen too many come and go They got lost in the system Or ended up on the pippy Guess its too hot in the kitchen I'm always ready for the smoke I just wanna make sure that i feel ready when i go If i don't try then how am i ever gonna know I know theres some people who think its better if i don't But those people are only existing when I'm on my phone This is life or death F*ck the fame, ill be satisfied if i try my best Another day its no rapper life that I'm tryna flex Judge away i made sacrifices i might be next I'm high again But i don't think I'm coming down Zombies off the xans but i can't ever dumb it down They think they run the town but they're stuck in the underground There's only so much you can take before you're underground Another down And his mummas wondering will he be home again Her son is on the ground bleeding out like broken pen Where are all your brothers now? those fuckers had no respect You gave your life to them and now your sister can't go to bed It's the world we live in Loose thoughts have been driving me crazy The old me is the person i remind me of lately I keep my eyes on the road but my sights getting hazy I guess I'm the one to blame getting high on the daily maybe Loose thoughts have been driving me crazy The old me is the person i remind me of lately I keep my eyes on the road but my sights getting hazy Please don't take my hand if you're trying to save me I wanna see your mind i could give a f*ck about appearances I take this love shit seriously thats just from my experience Tell me bout your fears girl tell me what your theory is We can drive take my hand but not the one I'm steering with All that means is i don't wanna lose focus You know this baby I'm too broken To forget my future and let all my wounds open I see the hard working energy through both of us I wanna shine i wanna see you shine too I know that you will never see what i do I really hope that i can be the right dude If not i guess its back to facing screens in my room And i have been up the doing the same shit for a while Was sitting here in the dark then you came in with a smile My brain is in denial the pain is from my childhood Were way too old for games don't play this like a trial please Remember watching my family taken by police Thats how i knew it was something id never try to be I had no idol, just people i inspired to not be like I want advice from my parents but shit they're not alive The doctors tried and honestly i don't want to die But i'd give my whole fucking life to get them both on the line For one minute id tell them both that ill never quit But i just need some guidance to fix the state that my head is in