Difficult

I don't wanna be alive I don't wanna live sometimes I don't know if I'm okay I just say I'll be fine Better in the end That's what I tell my friends I don't think they understand How close I am to giving up Lately I been outta touch I don't say this much But sometimes I just wish the sun Don't come back up Close my eyes and keep em' shut Even in my dreams I'm fucked I don't sleep that much Restless, huh If I stay awake then I don't think that Straight Lately I've been tryna leave this place I know life is short but death ain't Worth the wait I wish I was in a better place If I ain't leaving early Then I'm leaving late I say Hoping everyday is a better day Grass ain't greener till it's planted on My grave And makeup's covering my face Underneath a casket in a maze Cuz they won't find me anyway, yeah I don't wanna be alive I don't wanna live sometimes I don't know if I'm okay I just say I'll be fine Getting better Not really These people cannot hear me But I love em' all sincerely So I continue breathing And I push my aside my grieving So that they can't see I'm beaten Depression screaming and Death been creepin' I plan on leaving on a weekend Now where I'll be that's a secret I won't leave a note Just know I'm sorry though This is not your fault Nor your problem, oh By the way I was drowning in a lake Sinking with the pain I carry Everyday In my dream I die this way It's either that or up in flames I'm so tired of this game If I go to sleep I worry I won't see the day Everyone I love and their hair turn Grey Sometimes it hurts knowing that all My closest friends just passed away I just know that even glue starts to Fade away That's why I hold onto everything Cuz I'll be alone when it comes my Day I don't wanna be alive I don't wanna live sometimes I don't know if I'm okay I just say I'll be fine I don't wanna be alive I don't wanna live sometimes I don't know if I'm okay I just say I'll be fine