Plaid Man

I was walking down the street one day, and a girl looked at me She asked what I was wearing, I said, plaid can't you see She said my shirt was the ugliest thing that she'd ever laid eyes upon But I wore my flannel with pride, and I laughed till she was gone Cause I'm a plaid man, a mad man A very, very sad man Why can't you just be glad, man Cause I'm a plaid man After I got home, I had a cup of tea I made it in my plaid tea kettle that my friend gave me for free I drank it up from my plaid teacup, then I saw it was a quarter past three So I jumped into my plaid car and drove off on my plaid street Cause I'm a plaid man, a mad man A very, very sad man Why can't you just be glad, man Cause I'm a plaid man Fast forward twenty years from now to my wife, my kids, and me We were hanging out in the park together, it was jubilee Everything was perfect, until my greatest fear When my wife, she leaned over, and she whispered something in my ear I'm a plaid man, a mad man A very, very sad man Why can't you just be glad, man Cause I'm a plaid man I can't do this anymore Your plaid tendencies have grown too sore I'm gonna kick you out the door You know what I said I'm a plaid man, a mad man A very, very sad man Why can't you just be glad, man Cause I'm a plaid man