CRUMBLING

I am falling down I've got the world on my shoulders World on my shoulders I am breaking down I'm crumbling slowly I'm crumbling slowly, oh Masks are never nothing like the person behind them Always looking for the answers but I never can find them So I go to confide in the easiest lie and I've never been that good at just accepting who I am But that's just how it's always been Friendships always come to end Relationships I fail again And that's why I pick up the pen I write it down in desperate hopes that I can close and rest The hopelessness I'm coping with it knows that I'm a broken mess Everything is speeding in my head, overload sensory Thoughts that don't make sense to me or traumas in my memory Tryna keep them locked up, but they're breaking out I'm hemorrhaging So now they're all around me and I have no choice just let it be Ask me if I'm alright, I'll look at you and say that I'll Be fine but we both know that answer is off by a mile One thing is guaranteed I won't be okay for a while I don't want you to worry so I cover up and smile but I am falling down I've got the world on my shoulders World on my shoulders I am breaking down I'm crumbling slowly I'm crumbling slowly, oh Went through all of life with false navigation and desperation Locked inside my brain in an iron cage and I can't escape it Want to get away, but I want to stay I just can't explain it But with dedication, and pencils, pages, I can erase it And that's the goal here, not only to control fear But if someone is hurting, breaking down then they can go here That's something I hold dear to myself But amidst helping others I don't go nowhere near myself You'd never know it but Last week I tried to pull my hair out Panic attacks to let all the emotion air out Tears pouring down my cheeks, to push the boundaries And maybe now you see, while telling you to believe in yourself, I was doubting me Hypocritical, metacognitive, cynical I thought that being critical was pinnacle, but it was bull It's actually pitiful that I run from mistakes Being in my headspace is such a cold and lonely place And yet I stay and keep at it That's the way I imagine I can Sift through all my thoughts to be happy and bleed sadness Guess the easy way to say it is I'm on the fence I hide the words I say to others behind what I meant To others it may seem the answer isn't so complex But what I see in others is a life I think I'll never get One thing is guaranteed I won't be okay for a while I don't want you to worry so I cover up and smile but I am falling down I've got the world on my shoulders World on my shoulders I am breaking down I'm crumbling slowly I'm crumbling slowly, oh Try to make it seem that the smile you see is me, maybe, yeah but in reality (I'm crumbling slowly, I'm crumbling slowly, oh) Act like I'm okay, and those words are what I say, but almost each and every day (I'm crumbling slowly, I'm crumbling slowly, oh)