it starts with a scratch

Oh It starts with a scratch Oh wait that felt good It went deeper than you thought it would It lasted for a second Then it cooled down But I think I deserve way more Oh the pain is so much more than pain It's the release of my own anger Oh the pain is so much more than pain It's the pain I think I deserve The chemicals think I deserve it The trauma thinks I deserve it Depression thinks I deserve it My brain thinks I deserve it So tell me, over and over again Do I deserve it I'll only do it once I became so addicted I wish I could tell future self Don't even start For the pain is not worth it You deserve much more than that Oh the pain is so much more than pain It's the release of my own anger Oh the pain is so much more than pain It's the pain I think I deserve The chemicals think I deserve it The trauma think I deserve it Depression think I deserve it My brain thinks I deserve it So tell me, over and over again Do I deserve it I never wanted this to happen I never wanted these scars But you look at my arms and I say Don't worry about it It's in the past