Right Now

I've been dealing with depression all my life Usually if I stay busy I'm alright Catch me vibing to Billie Eilish's Ocean Eyes and some lofi I used to numb the pain with morphine and marijuana Then it went from hittin' the gym to deal with the trauma To not wanting to live any longer I stayed dazed and confused for most of my days I withdrew But it's made me stronger I guess Dealin' with life's ills upon this conquest I just want my child to know dad done his best as he can As a man who lives in perpetual stress Thinking of my life I get proud right now Thinking of my mind I get down right now Looking at the sky I could drown right now I could drown right now I could drown right now Thinking of my life I get proud right now Thinking of my mind I get down right now Looking at the sky I could drown right now I could drown right now I could I could drown I just try to vibe until I'm out of tune I just try to write til' I find a groove My goal in life isn't to virtue signal I just wanna make music in my room I wanna feel okay I don't wanna fade away Into the portrayal that my brain always creates It's saying that I'm fake And that I don't deserve to be great This sleeplessness will lead me to a wake This crisis is existential These vices withhold my potential This virus is declining my mental Shining a light on defining what's central Thinking of my life I get proud right now Thinking of my mind I get down right now Looking at the sky I could drown right now I could drown right now I could drown right now Thinking of my life I get proud right now Thinking of my mind I get down right now Looking at the sky I could drown right now I could drown right now I could I could drown But I won't Because I have you on the way My son