Weirdest Place

I'm in the weirdest place I'm always tired but when it's time to shut my eyes I lie awake Re living everyday again but doing shit a different way Or thinking f*ck it man I would of done that shit the same You not second guessing you just asking questions like Maybe we misunderstanding one another's intentions or Couldn't see the others perspective I was stubborn, you were tired, we both felt disrespected So maybe it's better we left it I was hurt and you were feeling neglected Hated the version of you I reflected You changed for the better and I couldn't accept it Shit I should I forgiven I couldn't forget it I get I get it And to your credit you said it So it is what it is Bitter sweet life medicine we take and we give Ends how it begins, back to strangers with life's to live Futures to build cos the world spins still It don't wait for you to heal or ask how you feel So ima tough it out or you get left behind Treasure memories while they still alive cos they fade in time No matter how bright they shine Seasons change, no more Christmas lights Go figure right We so sick and tired of being sick and tired There's a limit to your effort that's just the way you wired But if I said that I would leave you then I'd be lying Cos I was frightened by the slightest chance of pain that's uninvited I done did that shit before and I survived it But this second had me hiding from my self Cos you weren't saying anything that I hadn't seen myself I would of used up all my effort but you save yourself But what I failed to see before is that you saving me as well We were never happy in that state We both tryna build a life that extra burden on our plate Is unnecessary weight The price for peace is to much for us to pay You deserve a clean slate and I deserve to feel safe We both deserve less pain So I hope our scars fade Cos recently I been way to close to heartache It's like I struggle to avoid it My lil cousin found out her mother never woke up in the morning And I swear I saw her soul leave her eyes Asking how someone can die when they were just so alive So NaNa when you hear this I hope you know I tried To ease your pain And I'm not the best with my emotions but I know this won't go away What I'm tryna say is I love you like we shared a Mother And when you lost you Mum you gained a brother And please don't mistake my silence for absence of concern I just fail to find the words it doesn't it doesn't hurt I can't always show you cos you my younger siblings If I fault hold it down than how can you express how you feeling And I'm a realist so I know this ain't gonna go by fast But it melts my heart every time I see you laugh Cos it's that spark that keeps your light bright when it should be so dark And life can play some shitty cards And some can wish on shooting stars But you my dear are miles apart Child of a single Mother grew up quicker than she should of You acting better than I would of And she headstrong, opinionated Claiming that she right even when she dead wrong I wonder where she gets that from And I'm running out of instrumental But there's still so much to say I've never felt as ungrateful as I did that day It almost felt like shame Spent the night before at J's Tryna mask paint from a relationship I failed to maintain Same time other side my Auntie passed away And if bro I barley pray But that night I shut the door so no one would see me cry I closed my eyes and tried to pray for compromise Oh Lord who lives on high I won't complain another day If you help me ease my cousins pain