Lovely Atrophy

Copious amounts of narcotics Seemed to be advanced when we caught it Living life somewhere you can't find me Looking into why they don't like me Help me out I'm feeling things And I don't want to make a scene But this room is full of mannequins And I think they get inside my dreams I feel every bruise that I have on my face And I haven't touched my bed in eighty-six days And I get a lot of texts hoping that I'm okay But they've all stopped asking if they'll see me today And I know you know it's getting worse So thanks for calling off the search Cause you wouldn't find me anyway While I'm busy playing in the dirt And I cannot remember what it's like To fall asleep and stay asleep at night I'm reminded every time I watch the sunrise It's a new day but it's always still the same night And I know I could do better with my mental health But I'll never quite get better with no sense of self Cause I been feeling like I'm living someone else's life And the life that I've been living doesn't feel alright I feel every bruise that I have on my face And I haven't touched my bed in eighty-six days And I get a lot of texts hoping that I'm okay But they've all stopped asking if they'll see me today And I know you know it's getting worse So thanks for calling off the search Cause you wouldn't find me anyway While I'm busy playing in the dirt They're always busy asking What the pain feels like And I'm always replying Like choking through the night Cause I don't want to let you down Cause I don't want to let you down I'm keeping my shit out of sight Avoiding the light Tell me I never do anything right I'm checking the time Give them the nines It's never too early to leave for the night I'm just too willing to die And I'm so ready to lie If you decide That it's alright Then I'll always be the one who keeps hurting your pride Is hanging around Getting you down Alienating the friends that you found Missing your shot Staying to rot Forgetting everything that you were taught You know that everyone lies I know that everyone dies Beg me to keep this shit light I'm focused on making it right So I can close my eyes at night I feel every bruise that I have on my face And I haven't touched my bed in eighty-six days And I get a lot of texts hoping that I'm okay But they've all stopped asking if they'll see me today And I know you know it's getting worse So thanks for calling off the search Cause you wouldn't find me anyway While I'm busy playing in the dirt