early days

Some days I feel alone In a crowded room I know, youu0027ve heard it before There, in that far-flung place I will stake my claim I know I shouldnu0027t, of course On my own, Iu0027ve got it made, I tell myself sometimes But sheu0027s the one who knows my pain, The best friend of my mind Some days I fight with God ‘Cause Heu0027s in my head I know, I donu0027t handle it well Things get so crowded there I donu0027t like to share I know, Iu0027m the roommate from hell Some days I get it right Itu0027s bound to happen at times I know, Iu0027m capable, ‘course Still should I start to think That Iu0027m all I need I know, Iu0027ll lose it, for sure From time to time I start to say, Iu0027m better off alone And while Iu0027m the guy who knows my pain, Iu0027m not the only one What if it never comes easy? What if it never comes at all? Tell me what youu0027re gonna do when the lights go out And the curtain falls Did you lose that feeling? Did it all turn out wrong? Was it all that you could do just to hold on tight And not let go? All at once in a big way It crashes down in a big wave Could be just another Tuesday When it all comes down in a big wave What if Iu0027m all the wrong pieces? What if I never had a chance? What if I come out broke and the whole thing donu0027t mean a single damn? What if my faith doesnu0027t save me? What if God is in my head? Does it mean itu0027s all wrong, do I throw it all away, and try to start again? All at once in a big way It crashes down in a big wave Could be just another Tuesday When it all comes down (I can feel it all coming down) breaking over heavy shoulders (As the tide is pulling me out) hold your breath until it's over (Wonder, can my feet touch the ground) and I'm trying but I don't know why I'm terrified, every time All at once in a big way It crashes down in a big wave Could be just another Tuesday When it all comes down in a big wave All at once in a big way It crashes down in a big wave Could be just another Tuesday When it all comes down in a big wave You thought that you were alright, Your life was like a clear line Something came and something went Are you ever getting over it? Youu0027ve been here for a while now I know you tend to spiral When youu0027re trapped inside Looking for a clear line Timeu0027s not a stream, itu0027s an ocean Loveu0027s only Love if itu0027s growing God isnu0027t fixed, Sheu0027s the Flowing Check your phone the tenth time Look for solace in the blue light Endlessly aware So whyu0027s it feel so foggy there Like youu0027re never waking up again It feels like [Time isnu0027t always on your side] My real life [Always another half a mile] Donu0027t sit right [Constantly wondering if youu0027re alive] Am I alright? / Are you alright? Am I alright? / Are you alright? Godu0027s not a stream, Sheu0027s an ocean Timeu0027s an illusion of motion Is it all worth it, the aches and the pains Of the growing?