Thoughts

My thoughts are getting a little too loud Shit is really sad I spend more time with this pen And pad than my own family Busy gettin' to the bag Workin' hard so I can hold Grammy I want this shit so fuckin' bad So my dreams ain’t takin' no back seat Its hard for me to split the time A part of me just wish to die So, I don’t gotta deal with pain Does God even listen to my cries? Does he exist or is it lies? Cause if he did why I feel the same? Afraid to fall in love I don’t wanna to get hurt again And give a bitch the world again End up depressed, feel the worst again My trust, time and love no one dеserves again New girls turn to еx’s I’m writin' a verse again Gotta be careful who I’m Spendin' my time with That cost a pretty penny and I lost plenty So all you gettin' is hi and bye I am not beggin' for a reply I gotta stop stressin', but my hearts heavy My nana’s cancer reached stage four Angry with God cause what the F*ck was the prayin' for I love her a lot, need to say it more Cause I don’t how many days are left Before she takes her last breath My heart gon' stay torn The devil on my shoulder gettin' louder He sayin', nobody cares for you He sayin', I should kill my self he sayin' If you do nobody shed a tear for you Now you need some help But who’s here for you Goin' through troublin' times wonderin' why God doesn’t wanna save me Cause my mind racin' and I try Daily just to let it go Hidin' behind fake smiles lately And nobody knows I’ve been keepin' this inside So nobody worries my demons very much alive And I’m fuckin' hurtin' Can’t even sleep at night Without tossin' and turnin' I have nobody to sit and talk It’s just me and my thoughts