My DM Hates Me!

Ooooooooh okay! So, here we go! I got this one, for sure, fo' sho' All night and day, I planned it out Know every way, without a doubt Gonna give 'em hell, know every tell Got every buff, on every spell But what the heck? That's disrespecc I fail my roll on every check I want a shiny thing, not super rare, at cost to me Yeah I just want a shot, just wanna play, no TPK I got inspiration, take it back, as reparation I know that imma live, I'm ready for initiative Hey there DM Or can I call you master? I know we can Make this combat faster PHB says it really ain't a crime Let me have this, just for once this time! (And NO meta!) BBEG got nothing on me (Ain't got nothin') Be back for my turn, we win this in three (GG EZ) A natural 20 for a goddamn DC? (I rolled a 1?!) No fair, no fair, I think my DM really hates me! Oo la la la la la I think my DM hates me! Oo la la la la la I think my DM hates me! Oo la la la la la I think my DM hates me! Oo la la la la la I think my DM hates me! I ain't even hit 6 yet, I wanna cry (DM) Please don't ask for a percentile die (DM) I'm super squishy, yeah, I'm just a little guy (DM) Next time you tell me no, won't even question why You are so super strong like, super great, control my fate Yeah you are so super cool, campaign better than Baldur's Gate I'm not chaotic evil, so can we just make a deal? This is the world to me, just whisper it for secrecy Hey there DM Or can I call you master? I know we can Make this combat faster PHB says it really ain't a crime Let me have this, just for once this time! (And NO meta!) BBEG got nothing on me (Ain't got nothin') Be back for my turn, we win this in three (GG EZ) A natural 20 for a goddamn DC? (I rolled a 1?!) No fair, no fair, I think my DM really hates me! Oo la la la la la I think my DM hates me! Oo la la la la la I think my DM hates me! Oo la la la la la I think my DM hates me! Oo la la la la la I think my DM hates me!