Cue for a Song

"What do you find in men's trousers and on billiard tables?" "Pockets!" "Well, that's not the answer I was expecting but gentlemen, It reminds me of a song..." "Well sing, you bugger, sing" A poor old snooker player Stood with hand on cue His balls before him Red, yellow, black and blue A cruel barman He sneered and dimmed the light Please leave those balls alone You'll play no more tonight The chalk-stained veteran He turned with anxious gaze His game half over His balls still on the baize His eyes they filled with tears His heart with pain And as they flung him out He sang this sad refrain Oh please, oh please don't take my balls away I used to play with them at least ten times a day Once they were lovely but now they're old and grey Oh please don't take my precious balls away The busty barmaid An Irish lass named Mabel Said "Pick up your balls please Don't leave them on the table Though I have travelled far From the Dublin shore I've never seen such dirty balls before Oh please, oh please don't take my balls away I used to play with them at least ten times a day Once they were lovely but now they're old and grey Oh please don't take my precious balls away It's cruel winter Outside the blizzard squalls Oh landlord, give me time To pocket all my balls The icy wind doth blow And if I roam I may not have my balls When I get home Oh please, oh please don't take my balls away I used to play with them at least ten times a day Once they were lovely but now they're old and grey Oh please don't take my precious balls away Next day they found him The snow lay all around They searched in vain, too late His balls could not be found They laid him by the fire They watched him thaw Then through the chilblains He sang this song once more Oh please, oh please don't take my balls away I used to play with them at least ten times a day Once they were lovely but now they're old and grey Oh please don't take my precious balls away