Gums and Plums

Well my name is Ivor Biggun And they say I've never been kissed My sex life took one hell of a knock On the day I broke my wrist I much prefer hand shandy to the company of lasses Everybody says that I'll go blind You'll notice I'm wearing glasses For my name is Ivor Biggun and I sing about them tits and them bums Whoa now you know my name you'd better Get your gums around my plums My name is Ivor Biggun I'm disgusting and obscene I blow my nose without a hankie And my fingernails aren't clean I'm public enema number one A man of effluence and style My 'je ne sais quoi' is obvious 'Cause it sticks out a mile Whoa my name is Ivor Biggun and I sing about them tits and them bums Whoa now you know my name you'd better Get your gums around my plums Well my name is Ivor Biggun But some dispute that fact And they suggest I contravene The trade descriptions act But my girl said she's marry me If I had a twelve inch dong I said "I'll cut it down to any size luv If you think that it's too long" Whoa my name is Ivor Biggun and I got my mojo workin' well Well you can press my button Press my button and ring my bell Well Ivor Biggun, Ivor Biggun, Ivor Biggun Ivor Biggun, Ivor Biggun, Ivor Biggun Ivor Biggun, Ivor Biggun, Ivor Biggun I'm moderately well endowed I'm Britain's champion wanker I'm renowned throughout the land Everybody knows my name But nobody wants to shake my hand Whoa my name is Ivor Biggun and I sing about them tits and them bums Whoa now you know my name you'd better Get your gums... around my plums