Halfway up Virginia

Now I'm just an old hillbilly boy, I ain't no city slicker My interests is incest, bestiality and liquor I live on grits and catfish that muck around in the fountains And I'm just a cont-cont-country boy and I f*ck around in the mountains But I've been down in Georgia, I've been in Caroline I've been in both their sisters and the hole in the lonesome pine Been in and out of Charlotte and her husband's after me.... But halfway up Virginia is where I wanna be Now I've got fifty sweethearts, they think that I'm a star One of them says, "Oh baby" and the rest of them say "Baa" You can depend on a four-legged friend and when I go out bonkin' I dress that sheep in a gingham gown and take her honky-tonkin' Two to the left, two to the right, hooves together and do-si-do I needn't buy her a new fur coat 'cause she's got one that's curly Just a jug or two of mountain dew and turnips for my girlie I've stuffed my tool in a Georgia mule but I give them cows a miss 'Cause you feel such a cunt rushin' round to the front When you want to give 'em a kiss But I've been in Alberta, I've been chasin' beaver Had a pokey in Muskogee with a three-legged golden retriever I've been through Mississippi and her husband's after me... But halfway up Virginia is where I wanna be Had a bunk-up with a skunk up Where the blue grass blooms Had a good f*ck from a woodchuck And polecats and raccoons A hound dog and a ground hog A possum up a tree And everything that bleats and barks And can't run faster than me. Yahoo! Now down in the creek lives Lou-Lou-Belle She's a virgin and I believe her But if she ain't good enough for her own kinfolk She ain't good enough for me neither I've had all critters great and small In the hills of Tennessee And every last one is female 'Cause there ain't nothing strange about me And I've yodelled down the canyon On both sides of Caroline And I'll go thar' again some day If her brother doesn't mind I've messed around in Buffalo From sea to shining sea But halfway up Virginia is where wanna be Yeah, halfway up Virginia is where wanna be...