Send for Dr. Clap

Well if you've got something wrong With the end of your dong And a pain in your old chap Send for, send for, send for Dr. Clap If you're feeling grotty And your dongler's spotty That's no great mishap Send for, send for, send for Dr. Clap 'Cause he's the man who will make you good as new He's the man who will cure you of your ills He's the man who will paint your privates blue With his great big hypodermic and his great big pills If you've got a throb in the end of your knob And it dangles like a strap Send for, send for, send for Dr. Clap And ladies too, he'll see to you He won't make you blush Come along and lie down on his couch Point your path in his direction And wait for his injection You'll only feel a little prick and you won't say "Ouch!" (And it's on the National Health) If you've got a failure in your g*nitalia Don't get in a flap Send for, send for, send for Dr. Clap If you've got a pain or a varicose vein Where it didn't ought to be Send for, send for, send for Clap M.D. 'Cause he's the man who will make you good as new He's the man who will cure you of your ills He's the man who will paint your privates blue With his great big hypodermic and his great big pills Well if you've got something wrong with the end of your dong And a pain in your old chap Send for, send for, send for Dr. Clap You've gotta... Send for, send for, send for Dr. Clap