The Majorca Song

Unos, dos, tres Suzy Quatro Every year when summer is here I save up m' money and fly To the land of the sun, fornication and fun And never let a dago by Buenos knockers por favor As I sniff up the breezes There's a whiff in the air Of ambre solaire And Julio Inglesias All day beneath the parasols, I prat around on the beach All night I'm pissed as ars'oles and incapable of speech But I'm going back to Majorca Back to the prettiest girl that I've seen I nearly went crackers When she held my maracas And I burst her tambourine She was topless, I was legless, we boogied the moonlight away Oh she swallowed my pina colada Oh blimey, O' Reilly, olé I said she swallowed his pina colada Oh blimey, O' Reilly, olé Olé, olé, olé, olé, Olé, oh lay me down quick Iy iy, iy iy, iy iy, iy iy I think I'm gonna be sick "Ooh that's better out than in" I don't go swimmin' I just look at the women As I stroll down by the ocean They don't wear vests upon their chests They just wear sun-tan lotion Buenos knockers por favor Una paloma blanca I go to Spain, get out of my brain And act like a wanker I wear reflective sunglasses to secretly stare at the tits But I never drink the water, in case I get the shits I'm going back to Majorca To get up to m' scrotum in sin There's lots of how's-yer-father down on the Costa Brava And they blame it on jet-lag and gin She was topless, I was legless, we boogied the moonlight away Oh she swallowed my pina colada Oh blimey, O' Reilly, olé I said she swallowed his pina colada Oh blimey, O' Reilly, olé But when I get back to Worksop And the sand runs out of my socks I'll dream of that sweet senorita Who gave me a dose of... la dolce vita And a vimto on the rocks