The Winker's Song (Misprint)

My mother said that I never should Play with the naughty, rude girls in the wood Their giggling talk I could never understand And that's why I fell in love with my right hand And that's why... I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker And it does me good like it bloody well should I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker And I'm always pulling my pud' I was twenty-five years old before I was kissed And then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist It's cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD It's available at any time and it's absolutely free And that's why... 'm a wanker, I'm a wanker And it does me good like it bloody well should I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker And I'm always pulling my pud' Oh Mrs. Palm and your five lovely daughters Thank you for having me and being oh so kind I've got pains in my arms and my dong is growing shorter My knees have turned to water and I think I'm going blind I've wanked over Italy, I've wanked over Spain I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had a wank in a train I've used a badger and a melon and a cat An inflatable Linda Lovelace and a Davy Crockett hat And that's why... I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker And it does me good like it bloody well should I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker And I'm always pulling my pud' Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters Thank you for having me and being oh so kind I've got pains in my arms and my dong is getting shorter My knees have turned to water and I think I'm going blind He's a wanker, he's a wanker And it does him good like it bloody well should He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he's always pulling his pud'