Purple

Elt a bit of panic when I first met you No clue what was happening but just pushed through Thought you're cute and kinda nice And we got mutuals too Good fit and good hair That seems so usual for you So I took all of the chances cus I'm not good at starting shit And you seemed to catch onto it We're seeming like a perfect fit Not looking to disarm me In fact you do the opposite You make me feel empowered, Wanted, Needed, And more positive I'll go out to los angeles And see our friends in person But if only you were going I'd still go cus it'd be worth it Pack a bag and book a flight at the last second Hate that purchase Hear your voice in every silence What you'd tell me when I'm nervous See our future for a purpose I need you through my lifetime Wonder how I worked without you You've been a main lifeline Love in every second Calmed in every section Your honesty is spreading through my soul like an infection You make me hurt less Hope I'm worth my urges Nervous for the first move Bravado's never courage Impulsive little lifestyle I probably deserve it Told everyone about us And how, to me, you're perfect I know it's awkward I feel so strongly I know you hated distance And that shouldnt feel this shit But I'm still all hurt And that hurt's all me I always misread you And I'm sorry I said I love you And you were silent I'm sorry if my freaking out hit you like violence Our friends are all heart When will they all hear? And when they do will they think that I dont belong here? You could hold me down like aero Actions point it out like arrows Bedroom popping just to deal but I'm no clairo Got my obscolescence sealed Say that shit's fair though Where though? I'm freaking out and steady getting more paranoid Easily annoyed, blank void I cant ever voice Told myself that all my f*ck ups made have been a choice I'm to blame for all the pain felt over all the noise Realign with my mind for a second And everytime I do I see my substance being lessened I always reach out when I'm feeling my depression I'm lower quality, just feeling the compression Hero Since we split my tank is stuck on zero Tell me if you're waiting while I'm here so I'm not broken if we never go back I'm not fine Heal me, I'm breaking Grieve connections more than weekly I'm faking every smile when you see me I'd fix it if I ever got to go back It's not time Would I mess it up again? What's all this effort in the end?