Feud

I might lose it I might just I dont know why I confuse it these vices I think I always felt like I was second best Unimportant or less worthy for affection when Felt like I was tossed around when I was younger Had her faults but yo i always loved my mother Grew older and the feelings I expressed for some Were met with sympathy but they were never matched with love So I think I seek approval now I never learned to be a man who was true or proud That's a whole lotta shit I cant Google how And I had some bad influences I grew up around I wont pass it off i guess I'm weak and I give in I don't vent nothing I'm just keepin it within Never learned how to feel or to talk about Love so I'd rather not and just blot it out Jot it down, it saves me from darker routes But really wanna self destruct all around And im callin out for help loud but hear not a sound Self esteem ain't something grabbed from the lost and found I wish it was tho bad decisions and ima do em in the utmost I just hope and pray that I can keep a steady drug flow Uh oh unfold blood go dumb cold stunt growth gone You ain't never been a weak kid, stop thinkin Get outside your head you've got shit to believe in You working hard to catch these dreams and you seize them Your pity party just gon stop you from achieving You preachin some positivity it's time to live it Start following your own advice that you are always givin Don't give in to your weaknesses cuz you can change the system Of the thoughts that's in your head boy start believing what you spittin Nah it ain't like that, not like I don't fight back But sometimes my mind is too blind for the right track All the bullshit got me tryin to rewrite facts Every wrong doing, think about em in my night cap Damn it's to the point I lay awake at night Images in my head i cant take the sight Feelin like I'm losing grip of everything in life My girl, music and my fam all fadin right Before my eyes and I don't know how to hold em still Think it might be easier to just dome the steel At least then, right then, yo the moments real And finally might kill off this lonely feel That I get and I dont know why It come Russian roulette, full clip, try my luck All the tears that I've dropped all drying up When will I ever feel like I'm enough when am I enough Enough for what bro, who are you competin with Therapy and art, gotta keep releasing it Time to reap what you sow and seeded Follow your heart and start leading What if my art forces everyone away that I hold close What if we winding up together at some forked roads Refocus your mind on what you control Cant you see the sunshine man its beautiful Dug my own hole made my bed up in the pit Deconstruct it make a ladder climb it you set Ion really think it's easy as you sayin You ain't gonna know until you try and quit playin Dont you have a hand that could help you out Open your eyes grab the hands thatll help you out Shits mad tough, gotta get back up Got the world on my back help me lift that up, yeah Shits mad tough, gotta get back up Got the world on my back help me lift that up, yeah Shits mad tough, gotta get back up Got the world on my back help me lift that up, yeah Shits mad tough, gotta get back up Got the world on my back help me lift that up, yeah Gotta Just keep climbin Just keep climbin yeah Just keep climbin Boy you flyin yeah Just keep climbin Just keep climbin yeah Yeah yeah