hate me

I'm living in a nightmare Everyday is heavy with despair And the more I wait the worse it gets But will the weight make me not care If I spill my guts Will you catch them Fore' they hit the floor Probably not Cus' it's not a long shot You won't love me anymore Even if I say it You won't listen anyway You'll say it's just a phase You'll give me a headache You'll think I don't know what I'm saying But I finally know who I am I got a lot to say But that's a lot of wasted breath to take Not talking makes me fake Cus' I know I'm gunna lose you either way This would just give you a real reason to hate me Maybe it's for the best I don't need you to save me Wishing I could find myself Wish I could let it out Wish I could be someone else Not be filled with this doubt You say you'll be here But I know you're lying Cus where are you When I'm alone crying I can feel my bridges burning It's the real me you don't like And you'd think that I'd be hurting But I've held this breath in my whole life This could be let go And if would free me in one night So if I can't let it go I might as well let my dreams die And I can't let you take that from me I don't have to care what you think My happiness is all I wanna see I'd show you what is underneath But you'll say I don't know what I'm saying You'll try to force me to go into hiding I got a lot to say But that's a lot of wasted breath to take Not talking makes me fake Cus' I know I'm gunna lose you either way This would just give you a real reason to hate me Maybe it's for the best I don't need you to save me Wishing I could find myself Wish I could let it out Wish I could be someone else Not be filled with this doubt You say you'll be here But I know you're lying Cus where are you When I'm alone crying I got a lot to say But that's a lot of wasted breath to take Not talking makes me fake Cus' I know I'm gunna lose you either way This would just give you a real reason to hate me Maybe it's for the best I don't need you to save me Wishing I could find myself Wish I could just let it out Wish I could be someone else Not be filled with this doubt You say you'll be here But I know you're lying Cus where are you When I'm alone crying I don't have no more time I'm falling far behind If I wait for you to see Then I'll never get to be me Guess I'll take my chances And I'll take all consequences Cus as far as I'm concerned Life's about making messes