Bedroom Drawer

I've been tryna get Closer to me Do all the things I wanna be Somebody else Nothing comes free I stay up late Escaping the truth I sit and dream All of the lies I told myself Waiting on guys Looking for wealth None of it makes sense anymore Stories I write in my bedroom drawer Can you keep a secret Pleasure toys and trinkets A diary full of endless journal entries to quit drinking But I don't like thinking Prefer to find a space Between what's real and feel This thing I can't explain That is existing He text me now I'm high lamp shade yellow light Reflects my shadow from me To the walls I stay inside November time Feelings come strong don't easily subside Well I've been tryna get Closer to me Do all the things I wanna be Somebody else Nothing comes free I stay up late Escaping the truth I sit and dream Memory traces back through pictures I hold dear I found a pair of headphones an affair I had left here Forgot I have CBD oil Put a drop under my tongue Maybe it will do something While I conjugate this song Searching through my heart Seeking deeper trust Skinny Cigarettes and Unreciprocated love Could this be a breakthrough or just another tune spill my thoughts into melody well for now that's what I'll do What I can do What best I do All of the lies I told myself Waited on guys I looked for wealth All of it made sense once before Stories I wrote in my bedroom drawer