w a i t i n g

I've been waiting for all of you to come around But it's not taking you are all getting me down 'Cause now my patience is fading Though it pains me to say it I ask you not to blame me for dissociating I hate waiting, it feels more weight than any pound Mental migrating hurts worse to hear than any sound Daily unchanging, I know that each moment will bring Unto me debating But we're all speculating Pay me for the life I've spent waiting I've been waiting for a chance to show you all That I'm not fading, I just stumbled into a fall Because no one can persuade me To give up my safety To take what I may need When the future is shaky It's like looking at the start of a freeway When you wake up you feel like it could be okay Then the weight of existence hits you like a wave Is this what right feels like? Every new experience I crave Becomes another brick on the path I'll pave Towards a house that I'm building beyond the grave Is this what life feels like? I've been waiting for a sign or something close So I try to force it when I feel I need it most Which leads to the chaos I feel most at home in I know I'm to blame But I don't want to own it Aching for the time lost restraining Pay me for the life I've spent waiting