Merry Go Round

I'm a black sheep Diamond in the rough Life has been tough I've been bruised I've been cut Hung out to dry Tears leak from my eyes Lost all hope You would think I wanna die Looking for guidance I couldn't find it So I surrender to The whims and vices Faith in the smoke and the liquor too Wanna do good but I'm just a to you The people when they see me they just see me as a menace Stereotype He'll end up in corrections Waiting to get on So I can do bad ish That I know is wrong Be like Kanye and I'll put it in a song Share my plight Ash ash my lungs Not thinking about the future In the moment having fun Stacking cheese is cool Man it's all about the funds Momma talking sense I don't wanna listen Go to church repent Please mind your business My friends is not my friends They don't really care Jumping off the edge I did it on a dare As I spiral n I plummet All I hear is yea My daydreams have become my worst nightmares I'm dead inside I live in fear I lost my mind and I don't know where to find it Forgetful from the dope I just need to be reminded Keep bringing up my past I don't need to be reminded Made some mistakes And I make a couple more Drowned in the spirits I'm slung out on the floor But I'm doing fine Got time Never worried But life ain't moving fast And my vision getting blurry I can't sleep I'm consumed by my anger Body shutting down My soul is in danger Look into the sky And my brains in outer space Black hole headed Destruction is my fate How can I love you When I don't love myself Acting out wilding Those is desperate cries for help Trapped inside a cell without a rope or a belt I would never wish you would feel how I felt Death is all around I can hear that coming Feel it to Like vomit from drinking on an empty stomach I'm deep in the abyss It's truly bottomless Where did it go wrong Something really is amiss But I don't stop I probably do it for the kicks Selfish I ain't thinking bout them kids I think about myself Cuz myself is all I got Hiding from the light Cuz it's cooler in the dark Wearing dark shades Gotta loc now Cuz my eyes be bloody red From the dope loud If what they say is true and it's a gateway On the path I'm on the path I'm making headway Life's merry go round Nothing merry round here Ain't nothing sweet Just defeat and despair Gonna give up No use in trying Get busy living I'll get busy dying Nobody cares Nobody there But wait