Where Have You Been?

Where have you been I read As the notification Popped on my phone I wondered at the question Wondering where I've been And why I haven't visited expression Recently Last night I was in my head Chest beating loudly As my vision became blurry Concerned about COVID Falling into the hole Of endless anxiety and worry I scurried down the steps Crossed the living room To the front door And barreled out It was a misty night The rain fell consistently Throughout the day And perhaps the overcast Was the root of it all It is fall Seasonal depression glooming As the sun fades earlier I'm assuming More than usual Where have you been I wonder again Losing sight of the path That instinct carved in my head I spend the next twelve hours In a state of disillusionment I've forgotten my best friend This writing pad and pen How simple it is To clear these impulses With a simple jot A crossed T A cursive written N I can amend my troubles Easily If I focus on the notion That being ill-focused Is part of the potion That is concocted Creating me I am learning to be at ease Even on nights Where I can barely see The reflection in the mirror Crippled once again With anxiety Where have you been I wondered again This time remembering the past Of last summer And the previous Dating back to when I was A wee lad I had Found myself Once before When I was sure I had already been found I bound My tongue To the roof of my mouth Until the glue faded And I began speaking out loud Now I have a flapper That would make a dapper man Bend at the knees A sailor's lingo Besides cursing with the letter C I mean where have I been Or where have you been Or where will I go From here Who the f*ck knows Where have you been Again It rings in my brain I wonder Truly wonder At times Am I on the brink of going insane I am plagued With self conflict Where have you been Justin I wonder if that's still my name Or if this is reality Or a simulation Or a weird version Of that Jumanji game Often times I lay lain On my bed Circling the patterns of the ceiling Often reeling in the years Like Dan Steely Or rather Steely Dan Where have you been Since you've turned From boy to man Where have you been Where Have you been