Talking To God

Hey god It's me again I've been tryin to reach you for days did you not get my messages Or did I not pray enough and reach a certain percentage I've been doing what I need to do so I can change Guess me and you are not on the same page People say that you don't judge but how could you when you put them in these situations trapped inside thit cage That where I draw the line because you don't know my ways No matter what anyone says you've put my thru some of my darkest days Even when things are looking up you decide to set it up in a blaze How can I put faith in a man when I look in the mirror and can't have faith with the man in front of me But see that's where you and I don't agree but I don't give a damn I believe in you but I can't put my life in some imaginary hands Bet you don't remember the night I was driving to that hospital Every second we got closer my heart got smaller little by little When she walked in that building it's like my world got little I won't continue the story cause ill get choked up little But you knew what was up Sucker punched me in gut for what What did I do to get this clean cut I had my whole life planned out Had the military plans were 20 then I was out Later on before I knew it you planned on taking that from me too what was that about I'm not questioning you I just need answers If you can't give them to me that's gonna hurt I try my best to put others first but the way you treat me feels like it's a curse What do you want me to do I'm asking you to rebirth me Make me what you want me to be Cause it seems what I want just is not right I put up this fight get blinded and loose my sight These thought of suicide only comes at night That's I lay awake at night in sweats I'm terrified So man to man how is this gonna be Can I work on my life and be set free If you know what I love don't take from me Can God almighty see with his all seeing eyes You gave me a brain to make me wise I'm going insane so please make it smaller in size I'm telling you god if I could I would cut my ties Everyone telling me to put my faith in you when it's all lies I figure them out before so now your plan is compromised You're mesmerized then you quickly get something else organized Making hard to win at life you make me paralyzed Thinking that this isn't what the Bible advertised You could've helped me in my time of need but now I'm traumatized Now I'm ready to leave this Earth and take off in flight I don't care what anybody says what you're doing isn't right I try to keep the peace to avoid issues But that causes a battle in my head just wish you knew damn I need a tissue Why can't you see I'm struggling just take all of it with you I've had it with everything I'm suffocating I'm turning blue Looking down on this Earth and see what I'm going through You really make me question why I even have this tattoo And when I say the things I do people take me as that fool I know everything has a reason that happens in my life So I guess I'm going to take the Gamble and roll the dice I'm not okay I'm not my self I'm drained I'm asking you to calm my mind calm my brain Please heal my heart and take all my worries away Cause I really feel like I don't wanna live another day. Give me my life back that I deserve I even tried to give being a soldier first Seems like that wasn't enough so that's what hurts I want to shout and scream but don't want to burst Hate revealing this side cause I'm at my worst It's sucks I know my worth but I help for free Things change so now I'm charging a fee If you yourself won't let me be imma use my brain you gave me to think for my self and understand the reality I'll shoot back like a rubber band i promise that you'll see So god when I'm expressing my feelings please don't take it the wrong way Sometimes it's hard to articulate what I say Life is so dull all I see is gray But hey I haven't given up not even a day I feel like I've accomplished so much but I'm only half way But my problem is when I get on a track and want to talk I don't know what to say I'll go way off beat get flustered now I gotta pay And it sucks cuz I can't control what's on my tray Everything just piles up like a mountain of hey So back to me I wanna be free Let me be I wanna be at peace drifting off at sea Thank you for listen but I know you dont agree All I'm sayin and want the answer for is Why me