Empty Voice

There's not a single day that passes without you on my mind Not even one minute can end it Before you come around I yearn for the days when I see your face here before me I long for the times you held me in your arms Am I wrong for being curious? Or maybe just furious? Tell me I don't know Didn't think it would end so soon Seeing you up in that hospital room One phone call flipped it upside down Put me on that flight wheels off the ground Let me break it down Heard the stories I don't hold them against you Ima guess you made some decisions That were best for you and I bet that you Had the best intentions of Making your way to come see me again Helped me hold on every time you would pen Another letter to make it better Tell me one day we would be together There was still that hole that you never filled Promises you would help to build I watched them fall til nothing left You couldn't make it out And we know the rest Maybe you were the reason I enjoyed to write My self expression when I'm up at night Recording every thought of how much I loved you Without you right here saying damn I love you The only way, I could truly say The things I felt no time of day I shoulda told mom this is up to me Go and ask him for an apology What you two did isn't up to me It's affecting me reluctantly I could sit and blame you but I played a part A little naive and a broken heart damn There's not a single day that passes without you on my mind Not even one minute can end it Before you come around I yearn for the days when I see your face here before me I long for the times you held me in your arms I think about how things would of changed If you were there life rearranged Same apartment building with the broken ceiling With me growing up is the marriage healing? Do we get that house we haven't left in decades Celebrating those accolades High school and then off to college Intelligence only gettin polished Tell me how to treat girl My first date, even first base Telling me things only dad would say Mom shaking her head saying thats okay First heart break Feeling last place Build a work ethic for the paper chase Pass the baton for the life race But in my case it's my pace I could ponder how things could've been Won't change the fact I lost you again Once when you had to put the bottle down It was too late and you're not around Then I fast forward to a crash course Of taking whatever life gives 11 19 2010 I was dead asleep I lost you again Return to senders all I'll ever get The number you dialed will not connect Your history is engraved now Your body burned Your soul sound I know you're at peace with no pain But I can't contain my emotions I'm coasting on this roller coaster How can I move on like I'm supposed ta when There's not a single day that passes without you on my mind Not even one minute can end it Before you come around I yearn for the days when I see your face here before me I long for the times you held me in your arms I don't think you understand how hard it is Screaming out I'm so over this It wasn't meant to be I still can't see why it happened to me No apologies No good byes no see you later All I can wait for is my time In the mean time I look up to you Spread you wings so I'm comfortable I act like everything is going fine Inside I'm going out my mind F*ck this hurts my apologies It's haunting me I'm lost you see A lonely road I shouldn't have to take Somehow I feel it was my mistake We're all adults and we make the choice So why am I left with an empty voice