I Was

Why do you try to hold me still After all the harm I've done Why do you want me even now After everything is gone I don't believe in your love I don't believe in mine Every step I take drags me down Closer to the edge this time So why do you cling so tight Just let me fall let me fall I don't even know what I do I'm scared of being alone So I push you break you cut you loose Before you leave me on your own I was a good girl but he stained me I was a strong one but he drained me Now every time I try to rise I slip and fall I fall... And in my ruin I take them all It took just one to tear me apart It will take ten to heal my heart I hide behind religion's veil To mask the monster I became No choices left just hollow prayers I let them lead I take no blame It's easier to shift the weight Than bear the truth upon my back It's easier to lock the pain Than face the ghosts that haunt my past But my lies are catching up with me They pull me under set me free I must confess to move ahead But saying it out loud would mean I was the one who built this wreck I was a good girl but he stained me I was a strong one but he drained me Now every time I try to rise I slip and fall I fall And in my ruin I take them all It took just one to tear me apart It will take ten to heal my heart I met a demon but in his arms Mine learned how to flee I felt warmth but let it slip Believing it was never meant for me And so I fall I fall And they fall with me