SEARCHING

Back in my time zone Back out of my mind Back to the wall, I fall again behind I see my rage standing right before me I heard my life recording on a tape deck Played back, tucked beneath the vinyl spinning They don't get it, let me explain It's 'bout time I did it That flashback ain't the first My first wasn't my last Throwing gaslights at every word I spoke of my past Draining my energy Facing my enemies Trying to block it out Erasing memories Always feel I'm not enough Like I fail to do enough And it's always my fault I stay locked in this vault Halt, every minute to second guess my decision I created this life I live but do I love the way I'm living? Nah Always been different Cursed twice once gifted Sought refuge in the distance And it's kept me on this island Trapped deep inside it I need assistance I won't survive this Too much resistance I'm just a virus Invasive species Don't take the burden of my issues, you don't need these The clock's ticking, it's all coming at me now like 3D I take and take and take and repeat From the well of will and feel bewildered when it's empty I'm on the edge about to jump, please don't tempt me Isolate myself to self-destruct cause they won't let me Pour my ashes in the ocean and forget me I'm searching for someone out there I'm searching I lost that person inside I'm searching