Can't Hear

I can't fight the fear Of never being good enough I can't seem to shake the fear Of never being loved I can't wait to find what's real and start to give a f*ck Cuz I'm so done with fake stuff I can't fake that I'm ok And try to play it off I can't fake that I'm content Cuz now I'm acting tough I've been working on myself But now I've had enough Cuz I'm so done with the fake stuff God came down to tell me How to help me He told me to take it slow, take it slow, take it slow God came down to tell me My mindset ain't healthy He told me that I should know, I should know, I should know Now my heads way more screwed up than I thought it was Now I'm never bout the pros And always bout the cons Now my dad is sick like what the f*ck is going on I'm just done with the fake stuff Now I'm drinking all my anger that's what humans do Now I'm pissed off all the time That's what I'm used to Something needs to come around before I refuse to Just let go of the fake stuff God came down to tell me How to help me He told me to take it slow, take it slow, take it slow God came down to tell me My mindset ain't healthy He told me that I should know, I should know, I should know Left hopeless Losing focus But I still don't know So I'm soul-searching Am I deserving? Cuz I should know Why the f*ck can you not hear me Maybe you ain't listening Or you tryna avoid me Whole life kind of flipped around and Now I'm trying to keep my head intact from not exploding Other peoples lives look so complete and mine's still loading Maybe I just don't appreciate the things I already have I guess my family's kind of together I'm thankful for that I guess the deep depression and suicidal members have vanished But the family that I have has been taking some other damage I just want to know the plan I wanna hear your voice again don't want to sit here Clenching fists and being mad at the wrong person Cuz it's so pointless I want to mend this whole relationship below the surface Now my head's way more screwed up than I thought it was Now I'm never about the pros and always about the cons Now my dad is dead like what the hell is going on I'm just done with the fake stuff Please hear me