Fatherless

Forgive my father, for he has sinned He grew up without a father, fatherless He never even met his dad or knew who he is His momma told him shit ‘cause she didn’t know it Or was tryna keep him from it to shelter her kid And it doesn’t help that he is from a different Daddy from Marcy and daddy from Pam, both of my aunties Goddamnit, it’s sad To come from the projects, to come from the sand But he could’ve made it through with the help of the hand Of his grandmama Jackson But then she passed Into the afterlife, and he felt abandoned He had bad friends who would take advantage Of his situation and put in his face this Cocaine, take his soul away, then Split from the pic, have him deal with it All on his own He wouldn’t tell my mom What was goin’ on He was a tickin’ bomb Keepin’ secrets, embarrassed of himself He would bury shit deep in his heart on a shelf Never open it, kept it closed tight Spoke like a zombie when he fuckin’ poked white Needles in his arm, then he got so high And drunk at the same time to kill his own mind To forget the shit that he’s been through Kept it in the past to get over people But in fact it had the opposite effect It created equal problems He’s depressed and less than before He’s in a deep hole Tryna get out, but he’s trapped in limbo Like a man who’s good, but also evil And now he’s got a kid, and my life’s the sequel Fatherless Dad is Not around, found Fatherless Forgive me, Father, for this is sin Cursin’ my father and all that he did In the past and does now, the way that he hit My mother and instilled fear in his kids His abusive nature that came from the pit In his heart and soul, now is fit for the gin He drowns his sorrows out like I do with my pen But it wasn’t inspiration that I needed from him I needed his love, man, but he failed to give He just takes and takes shit His presence is drainin’ I try to be the son that he wished he raised when He was still in the pic, but now it’s fadin’ ‘Cause he’s not my dad, just a man that gave his Seed to my mother ‘cause my needs must be under His, but I thought a parent is supposed to Put their own life last and sacrifice for their kids I’ll suffice without him as I have for the ten Years or so that I’ve been the lone wolf The only man in a household of four, just Taught myself how to be a man ‘Cause I lacked the example from a healthy dad But that shit won’t happen when I have a kid ‘Cause it’s the truth I’m rappin’, and I’ma take care of her or him