Game of Life

Here I am stuck in my bedroom all alone Blankets on me why the f*ck am I still feeling cold? I'm the Hollow Knight in shining armor but no soul Collapsing on myself must be why my heart's a black hole "You ain't nothing, you ain't shit" at least that's what I tell myself Ain't no fucking medicine that'll take me outta Hell Take me up to Heaven please maybe then someone will care 'Bout my fucked up heart that bleeds, then again I refuse to share Anything, not to my friends, not to my fam I'm good at hiding Everything that burdens me there ain't no priest that I'll confide in My tears must be toxic because I am getting sick of crying Love for myself has gone missing posters up like someone find it There's no more hope for me Feel like Pouya dying slowly Really wanna OD on these pills meant to console me I'm a hypocrite if I just chose to slit my wrists Okay flip the script like I ain't give you any hints Is there any love for me out there? Can't shake off the feeling that life's not fair Game of life not meant for me I'm no player Won't be long before I kick out the chair I'ma be grabbing the steak knife Covering up all the faint lines Left on my arm on those late nights Reminding myself that I ain't fine President Washington can't lie Ain't no denying I hate life All of my happiness ate by The demon inside me they raid my Pantry full of emotion Don't think that there's a potion Make me get my mouth open Bros ask "You good?" I'm closing Off to the world No call from my girl Exhausted you heard Those thoughts will occur Popping a pill Hope I'm gonna chill The doc said I'm ill I'm locking the seal Between my friends and my heart That just makes us drift apart I'm just gon' be al-a-carte F*ck's wrong with me? Where do I start? How 'bout the mistakes I made When the homies needed me I was nowhere to be seen Filling all my selfish needs I'ma leave you with my best Regards now it's time to rest In the valley ain't no crest In my heart there's nothing left Give back all the love I kept Maybe you'll find happiness I don't know what happens next But I know it's better than this Is there any love for me out there? Can't shake off the feeling that life's not fair Game of life not meant for me I'm not player Won't be long before I kick out the chair Is this what the end feels like? Got me walking towards the light In me there is no more fight Rope around my neck I'll take a dive Ain't this what you wanted? Take me out the darkness "Rau you should've fought it Those thoughts they aren't honest" I'm already dead Like Juice WRLD had said You ain't help me then Only help at the end Gimme all the flowers you want That won't help the fact that I'm gone I'm not Baki I don't got brawn This is my hill I die upon Now the homies they all be crying Can't stand the fact that I be dying When I was here there was nothing but silence Now that I follow through I can hear sirens Ain't no chance to say goodbye what a waste of time At least I can say I tried, Dark Souls I have died There ain't nothing left to do 'cept put me in my tomb I just know one thing is true, listen I love you