Lullabies for the pain

Wondering if what I feel is real Or if it's just the drugs again Feeling so low, I'm feeling solo Maybe the pain will go Maybe the pain will go Pain, pain, wont you please go away I just want to enjoy this day So I take all my medicine Antidotes for all the pain I'm addicted, to the way it hurts Take a hit just to calm the nerves I don't know if I'm feeling alright But every night, I don't sleep tight So here we go again, another spiral Feeling like I'm losing control I don't hate everything about me Just the things that make me hate me And ill admit I feel like a piece of shit I don't really want quit I'm just a masochist To be honest I'm so ready To stop all this self loathing Wondering if what I feel is real Or if it's just the drugs again Feeling solo, I'm feeling so low Maybe the pain will go Maybe the pain will go Pain, pain, wont you please go away I just want to enjoy this day So I won't take the medicine Remedies for all the pain I'm addicted, but can't you see It's as plain as can be Life's harder, than it seems You'll get through this, believe me