1AM at The Harris (feat. dreablu)

Yeah, used to call me Joshy, now they call me Amasula Path was straight and narrow like the inches on a ruler Used to have that gaze that froze a room like I'm Medusa Made some waves then sank into the ocean with no scuba Had a lot of homies now I'm really rolling solo All my friends tied the knot or tied up like bolo Sicky like ebola, whipping my Corolla I really drive a Civic, had to match it to the flow though Missed call from my father, sticking to his honor I'm playing, he don't call or text, it got me hot like lava I got problems with forgiveness My memory so perfect, see the past my only witness I replay a million scenes at billionth speed A trillion things that I could think Quadrillion scenarios that pass me in a single blink Dirty dishes in my sink Opened up a window in the kitchen, I could feel a breeze A hundred thousand thoughts of giving up And it's just one of me, sheesh They told me I'd have struggles as I'm growing up But I gotta be honest, it's getting old, my bruh Times are changing but my feelings ain't I think I hit my ceiling, mane Thought when I got older, life would finally have me freed up Nowadays I'm wishing I could be like other people Sitting in the aisles, and they calling for some cleanup I just tell 'em back up off me, like damn Gina Thought when I got older, life would finally have me freed up Nowadays I'm wishing I could be like other people Sitting in the aisles, and they calling for some cleanup I just tell 'em back up off me, like damn Gina Katrina, hurricanes around me, I'm just singing like Anita Always quick to rush me, at this point I think I need a Second to breathe, prophesying like Khadijah Don't know what I'm doing here, I'm praying for my freedom Every day I'm gone I don't need you flexing telling me 'bout how you on I had lost perspective when I wrestled with the thoughts I had lost direction when I didn't have a job Mind moving a mile a minute, I could never pause Remember my complexion was a flaw but now it's art Played a role for many years and never got applause My past isn't my present, my mistakes is not my fault I, I Thought when I got older, life would finally have me freed up Nowadays I'm wishing I could be like other people Sitting in the aisles, and they calling for some cleanup I just tell 'em back up off me, like damn Gina Thought when I got older, life would finally have me freed up Nowadays I'm wishing I could be like other people Sitting in the aisles, and they calling for some cleanup I just tell 'em back up off me, like damn Gina Hit a lick and my Wallet looking thick as pie Pull 'em every single time Flash 'em with a simple smile So defensive, why? None with better sense than I I'm so filled with pride I toss toxic dreams aside And I put that on momma Used to dress in graphic tees and now I rock pajamas Always wanted a Lambo but I'm cruising in my Honda Like Kanye, my mom is my biggest fan R.I.P. Donda, Donda (West, West, West) I'm fresh to death (death, death), killing it My credit card 'boutta max out but I keep on billing it A liter of Patron in my system, I think I'm feeling it A drop of joy in an ocean of doubt, I'm hip to stealing it These feelings is a wave, and I don't play I can't run away, I'm every day Roped in a tug-of-war with that previous phase You see it on my face, I'm in need of grace I might need a place, my own space Somewhere I could pray, I could be okay And now I got the spirit These n****s too cocky, really they ain't trying to hear it I cannot make sense of these emotions that I'm feeling But every day gets better, that's a sign that I been healing I, I I been on the road, I used to move quiet Now I'm shifting gears to go Never really did a thing that I was supposed to Just look at my future, baby I been dripped in gold I'm writing a story and it's head-to-toe in prose Been looking for a purpose now I feel like I been chose Blooming where I'm planted, now my roots they wanna grow Environment cemented, through the cracks, here comes a rose