Father Wounds

But I'm weak though I can't even lift a leaf bro I get so stressed with no rest about something that happened a week ago Man I'm insecure in myself want no one to know that I need help I run away from the truth seek out friends that are too blind to see through my costume Cause I got to pretend I got it all together I'm better balling with cheddar or all fall through The cracks its so sad We live our whole life for a pat on the back will you accept me Man I hope you do Cause I live my whole life through your views Cause if I'm not hot then tell me why not So I can cover all my flaws with all these props Oh I'm too fat I lose weight You don't like the hat I'll toss it away I'd do anything for you to like me Man scratch that you need to love me Don't get it twisted cause this ain't about the money I just want all the recognition and company Cause my pops never told me that he loved me That he love me that he proud of me Okay maybe once or maybe twice But that don't suffice for all the nights and all the fights That I stayed up and I prayed up Hoping and hoping my pops would wake up To the fact it's really sad That his son needs his father to be his dad I got so many wounds and deep scars That feast on my inability to keep on I respond Cause I got to hit the restart Picking up all the pieces of my life to fill apart But listen I don't want no sympathy I got to point every single finger at me I can't be looking in the mirror thinking like what happened How can I blame anybody else for my actions But the pain's so deep that I've been thrashing All these holes in my walls from both my fists smashing How you gonna try to tell me that you did your best to try to raise me When all you ever did was kept blaming everybody for every single thing You never willing to admit what you did Beating the piss out of Jimmy he was just a kid Now I'm stuck living with the vivid images And when I confronted you you tried to justify what you did I don't think you understand me I'm trying to open up about the pain you cost me And I'm hoping this song don't cost me I pray it bridges the gap to your offspring Cause I'm still working through the mess that we're in Jennifer's having trouble to even let you in Jimmy's been down with you till the very end But forget it I ain't chasing you I'm erasing you A serious car accident occurred early this morning on I-75 near the exit of University Two vehicles collided sending them both into the guardrail The driver of the red pickup truck flipped multiple times after colliding into the guardrail First responders arrived quickly on the scene Firefighters had to use the jaws of life to rescue the driver in the red pickup Who is now in critical condition at Sarasota Memorial Hospital Got that phone call from Uncle Richie May 21st 8:02 Can hear him crying through the phone saying you might not make it through He told me we better come quick cause they don't know if you'll last You were losing so much blood they still don't know how you survived the crash Took me 13 hours to get there You were still in a coma in the ICU Through a ventilator you were breathing through I just stood there I didn't know what to do Nurse told me you had a breakthrough She told me you were gonna make it But I can't fake it I can't take all this pain going my way I had so much anger I was building up Had already shut the door between the two of us And the only way that you could have gained my trust Is if you begged for mercy and measured up Cause this whole time I was thinking I needed you to apologize But now I couldn't even care less Cause you could've taken your last breath So man I'm done with all the weather talk Want you to be around when my daughter walks Cause life's too short don't wanna waste it Forget the past we can't change it So regardless of the issues I want a relationship with you From man to man son to father Just wanna say Dad I love you