By The Grace Of...

I know I'm not the only one Who regrets some of the things they've done I could swear it's only me can't stand reflections that I see I wish I could just live a little more, look at the sky, and no, not just the floor Feel like my life is flashing by, all I could do is cry I miss my girls, I miss my friends, they chose the other side I miss my mother, man, she used to be my P in crime I keep on thuggin', but this really hurtin' deep inside I miss when Life was a party that had to be thrown But that was Back on some years a milli' ago When I would Wonder the streets where I found my feet They can't even, look in my eyes, they type scared of me I tried to, bring up some things, like jokes or a dream But they don't recognize me, got fogged memory And at the end of the day, I remain the same And I cain't, switch up my steez, to rock with a lame You not in my lane, you rottin' and decaying You snottin up cane, use not enough brain You not in my space, get popped in your face Ain't coppin a case, y'all copin the same He callin' you "twin" but sexin' your bae And flex in yo face It's hurtin' me more, to bottle the pain And even though I waited for more, got less, and more pain I'm gone, I gotta pack hit to deuce, for I go insane But then again, my pen is the deuce, that bar was insane You know I'm just sayin' I said a prayer this morning I prayed I will find a way To another day I was so afraid Till you came and saved, you can and saved me And the rain was pouring, cause the sun faded away Now, I'm in a better place no longer afraid Blinded by your grace, you came and saved me First of all, let me give thanks to my mama Independent, but the type to never deal with the trauma Wasted time instead of healing, now she can't escape drama Probably why she always heated, word to flame and the sauna We was solid, but you let another come in between Shut me out and birthed another, now we barely speak Raised up your daughter, while I was a kid I can't even kid, amazing provider, but L for an M You get what I'm saying? Damn, I can't even call my pops up Bet you when I pop out, that's when he'll decide to pop up Flippin' through pictures, I'm stuck just reminiscing I got the vivid vision, singin', dancin' in the kitchen Got both of my parents, somehow I still got the blues Got both of them here, but still I cannot get through I'm done with the trying, cause I'm tired, no SZA snooze It's you who gon' lose, peepin' game, I got the views Who is you? I said a prayer this morning I prayed I will find a way To another day I was so afraid Till you came and saved, you can and saved me And the rain was pouring, cause the sun faded away Now, I'm in a better place no longer afraid Blinded by your grace, you came and saved me