Imperfect

It hurts to say I'm alone And I'm imperfect I know Listen Grabbing my chest Reaching for God Praying for rest Pressing replay Hoping I'll check my phone and see there's an unopened text Seen it before and I know the direction Stressing, messing, headaches Loss of connection, feelings lost, seeking reflection Seasons doubting, all in my head And these notes have emotion it's evident But the past and the present are separate Why does it have to be me on the edge again? Fighting feelings and always repressing them God I'm alone, and I need to vent Can't see the answer, give me a hint I know I want love and its not making sense That this time it just came and it went I know that I'm anxious Racing around like the horse in the races Back to the basics Finding myself in the lowest of places Been hard and I meant what I said to the core when I say it I miss you, can't say it now I love you, can't say that either It's over, we said it now And it's colder without you here And I'm feeling more than I've felt in a matter of months, but out of luck that it's all coming out at the wrong time It just shows that this love was different And after the break, it cracked and shifted a part of my heart just like a fault line It hurts to say I'm alone And I'm imperfect I know I think I'm losing control Won't feel the same anymore God, I'm ready for this to all go It's all moving painfully slow And no one else really knows The pain and loss that I hold Gripped at my fingertips Bleeding from putting my heart and my soul Into something that's gone My energy's low, I don't know a ton But this here I know, I gotta keep moving forward or I know imma fold Mama told me this a bump in the road But it's not easy to let it all go Cause the pictures remind me of all the reminders I set in my phone Of picking up flowers for you Writing letters about all the ways that we really don't know What's next in our life, but now it really seems like I really don't Have an answer God knows and I gotta accept it Red eyes, loss of perception Timeline all disconnected Feels like an intersection Could go one way or the other I know the way that is for me But it's hard to get to alone And right now, I can't seem to see But I gotta trust that the blueprint has been laid down for me The mistakes were written and purposefully so A chance to grow and step up to be the person I really was meant to be It hurts to say I'm alone And I'm imperfect I know I think I'm losing control Won't feel the same anymore It hurts to say I'm alone And I'm imperfect I know I think I'm losing control Won't feel the same anymore