The Diver

Walking through the twilight Of a murky royal sky Under a tide of branches City streets are invisible Past the waves of dusk As the raw evening washes Over Central Park's fading sun I float forward and I can almost see Through my watery eyes The fading path in front of me I press music into my ears A soundtrack to distract the tears From the inaudible world beyond Thoughts begin to flood my mind And the park around me fades away Into memories of all of you When I tagged along and kept at bay Welcomed only at my request I said you were the friends I knew best But I can't just keep following you Expressions that I know are fake The smiles when I enter Because when I'm with you All I am is there As someone you've barely known Whose awkward comments fill the room What should I assume of you I'll be here until you call On this path, on my own This park's my mind, my ocean And I must dive down alone At the bottom I can be alright I'll be free and I'll be airtight And now I break away Now you won't need to bother With that smile looking so honest My mind says I'm a fool To fall for your feigned interest I'll be in my airtight bubble Until you tell me what's real Until I hear you knocking for me Oh Stella the diver I'll dive down like you I'm airtight I broke away And I'm alright you're my famous prophet Oh why'd they tell me To come un the first place I was always Just following Why was I Always following Why couldn't I build the connections Where were their texts Asking for me Where were the replies Wanting to come with me I was too desperate for attention to keep the promises I made to myself I was out there waiting Waiting Waiting The other day I took a walk Beautiful grey waves of fog kept me company No one else free to come Not today, not last week not for this or anything else I've been waiting for too long And now I've finally got out I walked through streets and down gorges No one's with me but I'm alright They say I go on walks a lot Dark thoughts and pretty lights I could never go do it Couldn't do that to my parents The sky is so pretty That's all I will think about The night sky is so pretty Memories flashing Like faces in the sand On the ocean floor I'm on the ocean floor Oh Stella Oh Stella For once I see The contradictions in my mind What if I don't Let myself feel How it wants to feel