rap star mentality

Oh, oh Sometimes I love life and sometimes I live in fear I mean just look at how different life was last year I'm tryna make a bag like duffel I'm tryna make a brand for myself like Russel I gotta keep flexin' these creative muscles I don't want this to feel like a job but I know it's a hustle I feel nostalgic for the old days but not for how I was actin' during them I'm still not the person I wanna be It's hard to come into my own, I come across as a wannabe Yeah Yeah Yeah I fall back into my old ways when I'm scared to move forward I need to set some goals, yeah, I need something to go towards 'til I'm what I wanna be and the old me is no more Yeah Yeah I lay awake at night and wonder if I'm really worth it Often struggle with the thought that my life don't have purpose If I got something I wanted, would I really deserve it? Would I have even earned it? Would I be able to preserve it? Thought I'd be a rap star by now That was wishful thinkin' and so I Changed my mentality with time now Whatever happens, it'll be alright, I got faith in that It's feels weird to open up and actually speak my mind 'Cause who am I? Why would anyone wanna hear my side? I'm also not very good at articulating All the things that I'm really thinking So I just make songs that I feel like help me escape from my mind and real life Sometimes I love life and sometimes I live in fear I mean just look at how different life was last year