I Never Miss.

I miss the bro We haven't talked in over a year Maybe it's two I'm not afraid to admit that I care 'Cause he was my cousin but all of my messages go into air He's got a daughter who's growing as fast as resentment I keep But I never see that branch of the family tree Why did you leave? We know it was problems, legality things But all that I wanted was for you to ring Do you have regrets or think about things? Do you not see time isn't waiting for anybody? Aunty passed out of nowhere No conversation Fam' in the hospital You wouldn't know if they didn't make it I'm more sensitive in tune emotionally So I got tears every time you don't open these texts that I'm sending I'm about to give up it's the ending I don't want to live in regret So I tried love unconditionally But when it's one sided for so long it starts to f*ck with my peace I guess I'll just drop it and forget the child hood memories It's obvious you don't want nothing to do with me anyways I want you to meet Tamara and tell me you're proud Or talk to her see how I've chosen the best but I guess You don't deserve to know how I'm going What I've accomplished Who I'm becoming Your brother was barely familiar with me in the slightest I miss and love you but I guess I might just Put all these feelings aside while I write this Probably won't talk to me ever again when you hear it I got too much baggage I need to clear it So many people I miss that ain't want to conversate over some shit I admit I've been selfish and I've been a dick But I love a lot harder than I would admit And you were the brother that I never had A figure to model that isn't my Dad I don't f*ck with the gossip and don't get involved I'm sick of the problems I just want to talk You made me feel like I wasn't enough What did I do? I don't know but it sucks How much family we got to mourn? How many years will it go on? I used to feel pain a lot harder than this Cause I was aimless but I never miss Don't get me started on brothers I lost I'm not afraid to admit that I care One of 'em struggling mentally, I wish I was there But he pushed me away for a new group of friends And chasing a dream that's never gon' end High on adrenaline mixed with the fen' I just want to talk with him Tell him I made it I found the one and she's fucking amazing Just want to see how he's going and talk about everything Maybe talk into his life and I change it Give him advice from a person who actually cares Not anybody who wouldn't care if he ended up dead All of my past things came to end When I found a passion and a reason Sure I could miss some of them as a person but Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling regret or desertion or Any resentment to anyone burdened with memories of me making them hurt I don't ask you to forgive I just want you to know that I'm sorry But I never miss what I had cause it's costly To live in the past and the present's becoming the past you'll regret I never fold I don't bend under stress I don't give a f*ck about money, success, or fame, and sex or the rest of the list I walk with a chip on my shoulder on tight rope while juggling fourty problems I might as well quit If we don't talk anymore it's probably just for the best Cause I was aimless but i never miss