Truman Show

Truman show feel like my real life Human though but they act like I'm stupid so I see how they're moving They're hiding behind they're support cause they know that I'm bout to break free of this systematic depression we face in our teens It's hard to believe looking back that I wanted to die so suddenly Punishing my gluttony Taking the time to seclude Work on myself but I'm rude and my health is declining Dependant on shit every night so I sleep and don't think about when I'm going to die Cause I swear if I blink I'll be caught in a lie Pretend that I'm okay even though I'm not Cause you caught me on the wrong day When I was in the studio, missing my old self I'm unusually distant to the every day methodical method of coping Transferring the blame and then credit myself for no sin Man I feel ashamed of the way that we left it open ended I sent it, praying to god you don't want to end it Suspended my heart knowing that you're better off without me Peace please No peace treaty from B.C., we've been greedy and I've been shitty The guilt eating my insides out The dirty sheets in my laundry they ain't been dried out I'd rather live in the moment than inside of my head But it's hard to control it when it's under my bed I'm nothing but hopeless when I wrote this Cause I feel alone but I chose this I hold shit in so let me spill on the page until I feel no shame I got bitter with age with no sense of a purpose Little by little, each day I felt nervous I was praying for change but this shit no communion Staying the same through bullshit's consuming Watching me break though your lens - Truman Additional support wasn't offered What's the outcome? I was in the middle of the shit - Malcom But I never said nothing Fam don't read minds Thought they'd assume through my expression But I declined "Why you got depression son? I know that we fight, pressure huh? It's the clique you run with Probably out there fucking Fighting motherfuckers Probably use a substance Don't you love me? Why you got to be my kid Don't you see that I'm trying to survive here?" I said I don't feel it And she said "but how come" I hurt so many times that I don't give out on Heard so many lies that I start to doubt ones She interjected "how's that my fault? Blame it on me cause I can't give out love Due to my seed that pushed me out huh? It ain't fair to hold me to the standards you have Superhero from the childhood you had So you feel upset? Oh that's too bad Try living in my shoes-" Oh but I have It caused resentment feeling unattended to You think that I want to look at you as not giving a f*ck What am I meant to think though when you snap? Not even a chance to blink so Over some shit coulda resolved with peace talk I don't want to fight I just wished that we talked more Cause I went through shit by myself Sorrow befell me and it was tears down my cheek Chest it caved in I was grinding my teeth Yes I gave in And I sighed forgive me Flicking through seasons Destination's unclear Another episode to break him If everyone else is fucking crazy Maybe you're insane, shout to Jay Z Remotely controlling your emotions Try to play me through a screen it can't be me against the world But it's every day b Want me to depressed but i'm bout to break free Yeah