I kidnapped Willie Nelson

Well I'd used up all my favors Pestered all my friends Had no one left to torture with my shitty songs again So I kidnapped Willie Nelson At an Austin honky tonk I laid him out with an Epiphone and I stuffed him in my trunk Yeah, I kidnaped Willie Nelson So he'd listen to my song Didn't mean to hurt him but he should have sang along Yeah, I kidnaped Willie Nelson Guess he's got bad luck Never shoulda told me that my masterpiece did suck We'll we stayed up all night drinking I played the song on loop Poked him with a cattle prod but he wouldn't change his tune So I raised my hand to strike a blow That'd really make him ring When all to my astonishment the man began to sing Yeah, I kidnaped Willie Nelson And he listened to my song He must have really liked it 'cause he danced and sang along Yeah, I kidnaped Willie Nelson What a thing to steal Says if I release him he will give me a record deal Who knew an old mans femur Would be my lucky break I'll say he heard my song one day and things just up and changed I'll buy myself a pardon And he'll sign an NDA So I get paid Well the sun began to rear it's head And we'd smoked up all the tree So I asked him for some last advice before I set him free He said "son, your tune it ain't half bad" "But the words are kinda dumb" "Quit tryba be a cowboy, you ain't foolin' anyone" Yeah, I strangled Willie Nelson 'Cause he criticized my song Shame he went and blew it man, I thought we'd get along Yeah, I strangled Willie Nelson Good things never last Wrapped him up and tossed him down the well with Johnny Cash Johnny cash