One More Time

Filing all the paperwork I'm patient with my time I've been managing the stresses With my breathing I'm a fly On the walls of every thinking pattern Watching it arrive Then I'm putting it aside But I'm eating like a hive still Clearly I could go in deeper Finding me some roots But I'd probably eat em first Before I come upon the fruits I won't find the answer while I'm scrolling on my phone Shit just make me feel alone But I wanna be alone Goddammit did I miss the bus home? Will I binge another night and pass out? I don't wanna be a burden no more Somebody tell Jack I need a way out! Goddammit did I miss you called me? I was busy tryna find the reason No don't you try to pin this on me Tummy burning but I didn't mean to do this damage I swear! I swear, I swear, I swear No I didn't mean to hurt you! Just hold on, but let go of control Just watch how cravings come and then they go Cause one day, you'll finally let it rain And you'll feel it all F*ck it one more time Maybe just one more time Lemme take us back real quick Imma tell you how I learned to cope with the bullshit I was born in a world made out of distraction And we learned to escape from all of the bad shit First we hoarded food to make necessity into a drug Maximized the content of the chemicals that make us want More so we devise new ways to stack the shit to keep us drooling Keep it coming till the sugar salty rush is all consuming I'm assuming that you know my story but maybe you don't Maybe you don't know about me stuffing tacos down my throat Maybe you don't know about me waking up in fear and sweat Body yelling at me telling me that it will make a mess Watching her she's cleaning out the sink I couldn't make the toilet Telling work I'm sick but didn't mention it was self-inflicted Sure I could avoid this shit and push it further down But to this day I'm still addicted so I need to air this out We use the food to cope but then we cope with how we hurt ourselves Spare the inconvenience of emotion but they'll burn us still Conveyer belts of coping mechanisms coming down the line Suck us dry as hungry ghosts of who we really are inside Despite the challenge I am here to find a way to never cope No umbrellas keeping me from seeing how it's storming out I'll get hit by lightning but I'll keep on standing still And wake up from the dream out there on paranoia hill Goddammit did I miss the bus home? Will I binge another night and pass out? I don't wanna be a burden no more Somebody tell Jack I need a way out! Goddammit did I miss you called me? I was busy tryna find the reason No don't you try to pin this on me Tummy burning but I didn't mean to do this damage I swear! I swear, I swear, I swear No I didn't mean to hurt you! Just hold on, but let go of control Just watch how cravings come and then they go Cause one day, you'll finally let it rain And you'll feel it all F*ck it one more time Maybe just one more time