a f r a i d

Afraid that they seeing right through my facade They say I'm resilient say that I'm strong Hope that my face don't express all my thoughts Live with a smile but feel like a fraud Afraid that they'll sense that I'm gone See that I'm in this too far they'll turn their backs cause I'm really too lost can I get out of this cage it's still locked Lost in these thoughts Takin these pills cause I'm coping w loss Smokin' til ash fill up half of the cup Swimming through feelings like treacherous waters Choking on words but my heart getting harder Bitch When you talk to me talk to me proper I would not like to discuss any farther I'm in the cut smokin za til I zonk out Ain't even worried bout nothin' bout nada That is a lie or maybe that's part of me I got two sides like it's positive Negative Er'body talk w that da da da da da da Er'body wanna just run and go tell on him Don't even know what I'm saying no more Mind is all over the place I don't know I don't know Afraid that they seeing right through my facade They say I'm resilient say that I'm strong Hope that my face don't express all my thoughts Live with a smile but feel like a fraud Afraid that I'm pushing the limits too much I'm stepping outside of reality lots I'm still feeling panic inside of the car I'm still gettin pissed off and running my jaw people still dealing with trauma I caused And I am still dealing with damage from loss And that is the relevant part of this song but I Still get manic and go off the wall I don't mean to act that way but I do it Dumb mufucka I really act stupid Emotion over reason I don't really think thru it If I said imma do it then I'm really gonna do it Afraid that I'm pushing away all the love Split personality making it hard I feel like the center and nothing at all I think I'm descending into my downfall I think that I'm calling an audible Switch up the meds if the other one doesn't work Think that the feelings are horrible Switch my perspective but still it's a horror show The things that I feel are incomparable I'm always fuckin uncomfortable Afraid that I'm drowning afraid I'm afraid oh Afraid that I'll fail before I can live comfrotable